What You Deserve
by shiplove108
Summary: Set during the missing year, Robin tries to understand the meaning of Valentine's Day while dealing with his growing feelings for the Evil Queen.


"What is Valentine's Day?" Robin asks out-loud, more to himself than anyone else.

The room is silent as Snow and David break apart from their kiss and Regina rolls her eyes.

It is breakfast and David has brought a little trinket to the table and given it to Snow. They do seem more… what's the word… more romantic than usual, but Robin thinks that is nice. If they are lucky enough to have each other, why shouldn't they profess their love? He would do the same if –

"It's a stupid holiday from the world in which we used to live." Regina announces loudly, as if she's trying to break apart the love fest that is still semi going on between the Charmings.

"It's not stupid, Regina," Snow says like she's trying to reason with a four year old who wants to eat cookies for dinner.

"I agree," adds Prince Charming, "I should be able to shout my love from the rooftops." Regina clangs her silverware down in annoyance and even Robin has a hard time stifling a laugh. "And I think," continues the Prince, ignoring all unsupportive reactions, "that it's a holiday the Enchanted Forest should adopt. From this day on, today should be recognized as Valentines Day." He puts his arm over Snow's shoulder and gives her a firm kiss on the cheek. Snow laughs at first, but her face turns worrisome as Regina storms out of the room, gown billowing, slamming the enormous oak doors behind her.

Although this is a common occurrence – Regina storming out for God knows what reason – something is a little different about today. Robin realizes he doesn't know much about Regina's life other than which villages she's burned to the ground and what kind of wine she drinks at dinner.

"Don't worry," Charming says, pulling Robin out of his thoughts. "She'll be over this in an hour and it'll be onto the next thing." Robin nods his head but he wishes this didn't bother him so much.

…

It is midday and Robin is patrolling the perimeter of the castle still thinking about Regina's dramatic exit – and more specifically the look on her face as she left. Usually she stalks around the castle with looks of anger and malice. But this time – this face… it was one of sadness. Something stirs in him and he wishes more than anything he could steal away her sadness and replace it with something else.

He continues walking and thinking until he sees a figure sitting on a bench within a cluster of apple trees. He's studied – well, not studied – but he's been aware of the Queen's daily routines and activities. He knows that the apple orchard is her favorite place to be, and on some level he is sure his subconscious led him here.

Picking up his pace, he diverts from his route and strides over to the cluster of trees. He weaves in and out until he is meters away and can see all of her. She dazzles in her tight-fitting, royal blue dress. The refection of the blue glimmers in the pools of water left over from yesterday's rain. Her hair is swept up and then to the side, cascading down her right shoulder. She has an apple in her hands and she is slowly turning it over and over, lost in thought. She doesn't notice him until he gives a little cough to announce his presence.

She jumps immediately, dropping the apple in her hand. The wide-eyed, blank look only lasts for a second until it forms into a tight-eyed glare. She leans down to pick up the apple and Robin decides to move closer. "Sorry to disturb Your Majesty." She has no response so Robin continues. "Do you mind if I sit beside you?"

Regina shrugs her shoulders, "Nothing's stopping you." Robin takes this as a 'yes' – if Regina wanted to stop this, she most certainly would have already – and sits down beside her on the bench.

"Just thought I'd take a little rest from my patrol."

"Lazy and a thief?" Regina moves the apple to one hand, smirking.

"Normally I would do no such thing, but as I recall today is a holiday, no?"

Regina rolls her eyes, but then there's that same look she had this morning towards Snow and Charming. For a moment Robin regrets bringing up the subject of this new-fangled holiday. He thought it would have lost some of its sting as the day wore on, but apparently not.

"A holiday you only found out about this morning – and an idiotic one at that." Regina tightens her grip on the apple, staring it down.

Robin does not want to pry or cause any more hurt… but Regina is letting him sit here so maybe that is invitation to break down a few barriers. Not pry, per say, but just talk. "It doesn't need to be idiotic." Regina snorts at this. "It is a holiday about love, I gather."

"Yes," Regina answers as if Robin has asked the most ridiculous question on earth.

"So that doesn't just include romantic love. It could be any love." Robin can see Regina soften her gaze on the apple. "Love between Snow and Charming, yes, but also love between me and my son, Roland." This time Regina looks up to Robin, a crease in her forehead. "Love between you and that apple, as another example." Robin smiles and Regina places the apple far from her on the bench, suddenly embarrassed.

"I do not love this apple." Regina is visibly flustered, a look Robin has never seen on her.

"I wasn't saying you did. I was just – "

Regina interrupts, "I have had love before." Now her voice is raised slightly. "It may seem hard to believe but I have had love in my life. Romantic and otherwise." Regina trails off, seeming like she doesn't want to get too upset about this. "And not just with fruit." She picks up the apple once again and tosses it at Robin, almost playfully. Robin catches it and smiles. Now he's the one juggling it between his hands.

"Of course, Your Majesty." There is silence for a few moments. Robin so badly wants to take Regina in his arms and tell her everything will be alright. He knows her son is in another land and she might never see him again, and he knows that at one point Snow White cheated Regina out of her happiness. He looks over at Regina's downcast expression. Next time this day rolls around he wants Regina to be just as happy as Snow and Charming were this morning. Before he can think too much about why in particular he has these feelings toward the ice queen sitting next to him, she speaks.

"I don't see how you can be so cavalier about this holiday. You told me Robin's mother was gone." He looks over at Regina who admittedly looks a bit worried that she brought up Marian – like she wishes she could take those words back. Yes, she can be quick of tongue, likely to say the worst, but he knows she didn't mean to hurt him.

"She is gone and I will always love her, but I have come to peace with her passing. It's been many years and I've restarted my life. She made me become a better person and I am forever grateful." He nods to himself, confirming that this is in fact a true statement.

Regina nods, too, and takes a deep breath. She closes her eyes as she says, "I loved Daniel so much." Robin does a double take as he stares at Regina, holding onto every little word she is saying. She is finally opening up. Breaking down some of those walls. Daniel must be her old love. Was he the person that made her this way? Or more likely his death may have been the thing that turned her dark. He has heard many stories of the dark and dangerous queen, but over the last few months he only sees someone who is hurting.

Regina opens her eyes and stares off into space. "But once he was gone, that love made everything in me turn to hate. It was because I loved that I turned into this… into this monster – "

"Regina," Robin interrupts, "You are the furthest thing from a monster."

"How can you say that? You've heard the stories. I took away so many innocent lives. What gives me the right to even be – "

"You can't say that," Robin interrupts again, speaking over her. "From what I see, you have redeemed yourself. And a person that can change her past ways is a person that deserves a life, and a happy one at that." Regina just shakes her head. Robin puts his hand on her shoulder and whispers, "Regina, you deserve the world."

She looks up at him, tears in her eyes. She reaches for the hand that is on her shoulder and moves it down to her lap. They just sit there holding hands for minutes on end. Robin's heart is quickly beating and he doesn't know why. He should be feeling calm and triumphant that he has gotten through a few of her many layers, but the sensation of her hand against his is causing him to be on edge. Fireworks are shooting from every nerve of his body and his heart is melting from the thankful look on her face.

He wants to kiss her, to really let her know that she will be OK, but there is suddenly a screech from above them. They are both taken out of the moment – hands breaking from one another – as they look up to see three flying monkeys heading their way.

Before Robin even has time to reach back and grab an arrow, Regina has already slowed them down with one of her spells.

They are racing back to the castle, throwing everything they have at the monkeys.

When they are safe inside, having blasted the flying monkeys to bits, Regina's sentimental side seems to have worn off. They are panting in the entranceway to the castle, each trying to catch their breath, and Robin puts his hand on Regina's shoulder once more, trying to steady her.

This time, however, she breaks away almost immediately. She has snapped back into her usual self. Looking upset and frazzled, she storms off, not giving him a second glance. Robin stands immobile, watching her disappear down the long hallway, blue dress fading away into the dark corridor. After their talk, he thought things would be different from then on out – not that he had time to do much thinking while they were fighting the monkeys. It is still Valentine's Day, Robin thinks now, so maybe there is still hope.

…

It is right before dinner later that day, and Robin is in the library reading aloud to Roland, who has many books spread out all around him. In the middle of the story, Roland interrupts him. "Why is today a special day?"

"What's today?" Robin questions back, wondering how Roland could have heard of this mythical holiday from a different land.

"Prince David said today is a day when you tell everyone you love them," Roland states.

"And when were you talking to Prince David, may I ask?"

"When you were on your walk around the castle."

"Hmmm. What else did he say about the matter?"

"I don't know." Roland shrugs and Robin goes back to reading the book.

A few moments later Roland says, "I think we should make a gift for everyone."

"For Valentine's Day?"

"Yes!" Roland exclaims.

"What kind of gift?" Roland shrugs again. "We can write a letter if you want. A little note to all the Merry Men, perhaps."

Roland closes the book on his father's fingers and starts looking around the room for parchment.

They find some in one of the studies and begin crafting a note to all of Roland's friends – exclusively the Merry Men.

Some are short and some are long. Roland dictates as Robin writes, but Roland always signs his name at the bottom of the parchment – something he is very proud he can do. And Robin is proud that his son is proud. Many of the things Roland has done in the past – and Roland has done with Robin by his side – are those of a more adventurous nature. Robin loves roaming around the forest and playing all kinds of games with his son, but this is the first time they have done something together like this. They are doing an activity of a very different kind. The Merry Men will have a hard time believing Robin took to the time to scribe each of these letters, or even that Robin knew how to write at all. He lets out a little chuckle at this thought. Then he wonders how much of a barbarian the Queen thinks he is.

As Roland finishes the last of the Valentine's letters to the Merry Men, Robin begins to put away the parchment and quill. "Wait!" Roland shouts out. Robin turns to him in confusion. "We're not done yet. We still have three more people."

"Who?"

"Snow White and Prince David, of course!"

"Of course," Robin says, pretending to hit himself in the head. He grabs two more pieces of parchment and begins to write as Roland – who has quite the vocabulary for a four year old – documents how much he loves seeing them in the castle. He love Snow White's stories and he loves when David shows him how to fight with a sword.

"And now Regina." Roland says as he signs his name to the bottom of David's Valentine's Day Card. Robin's heart begins to race at the sound of Regina's name. He nervously takes out another parchment and dips the quill into the inkpot. "Dear Regina," Roland begins.

"Wait," stops Robin, "why do you want to write Regina a card?"

"Because I love her," Roland states, clear as day.

Robin practically sputters as he says, "But you hardly know her."

Roland looks confused at his father's words and does what all children do when they don't like what an adult has to say. "No!"

Robin stares into Roland's eyes, which are willing his father to come up with a new answer. "I guess we've lived in the castle with her for the last… four months I think, by now. And she has been around a lot. She saved your from that flying monkey," Robin points out as Roland nods his head vigorously. "She might be a little cold on the outside but she always smiles whenever she sees your little face." Robin tussles Roland's hair and the little boy grins. But now Robin begins going off on his own tangent, staring to the right of Roland, into space. "And once you get to know her – on some level – so much of her becomes exposed. She has such a dark history yet she's made it so far and you can't help but feel proud that's she here and alive. And not to mention that she's by far the most beautiful woman in the Enchanted Forest." As he fades out, Roland stirs and Robin is snapped back into reality. He clears his throat. "So, uh, right you are, lad. What else did you want to write?" Robin once again is at the ready to scribe.

"What you said is good," says Roland, distracted by the many letters he is now folding in quarters.

"Well…" begins Robin, trying to think of something to say, "this is your card, not mine."

"But you did a better job of saying it," Roland pouts.

After much back and forth, they finally compose a letter to Regina from Roland. However, when Roland signs his name he adds an "and daddy" to the bottom.

…

They are seated at the long dinner table – the one that used to only be for balls and parties, but now is used to seat everyone who is living under the protection of the castle. The royal family sits at one end while the Merry Men fill out the rest. Roland has a grand old time passing the letters out to each of the men. As menacing and fierce as the men appear on the outside, they are very soft at heart, and Robin can't help laughing as Little John bursts into tears at his Valentine's Day card.

Roland gets to the end of the pile and makes his way to the other side of the table. He hand the cards to Snow and Charming, who are as delighted as one would expect. And last but not least, he waddles over to Regina and tugs on the sleeve of her dress.

Regina, who looks as if she was trying to ignore the commotion with Snow, Charming, and Roland, is shocked to see the little boy standing before her.

"Yes?" Regina asks, somewhat skeptically. Roland says nothing but just extents his arm, card in hand. Regina takes the card with caution and begins to open it. "What could this be?" Roland turns to Robin and grins. Robin gives him a nice little nod of encouragement.

They wait in silence as Regina reads her letter – one that is considerably longer than all the others. Even the Charmings stop eating in order to watch Regina. Robin sees tears gather in her eyes as she finishes the letter.

Without saying anything she stands up out of her seat. There's a flash of fear across Roland's face but it is quickly extinguished when Regina sweeps down to the boy's level to give him a hug. "Thank you," she whispers. The little boy hugs her back and it looks like he never will let her go. However, when he does, she immediately runs out of the room, not looking back.

"It's always something," Robin hears David say. Before he can hear Charming say another word, Robin is half way across the room. This time, he is following Regina.

…

He catches up with her in a faintly lit corridor. "Regina," he calls after her. But she keeps moving swiftly, dress billowing out behind her. "Please turn around!"

After a few more strides, he sees her slow down. He catches up and runs in front of her. He puts both hands on her shoulders, trying to look into her downcast eyes. "Regina, are you alright."

When she looks up, Robin sees tears streaming down her face. "Well," Regina practically screams in his face, "what does it look like to you?"

Robin does not take his hands off her shoulders and does not let her look away. He does not give up on her and knows he never will. After a moment, she collapses into him, not holding back her tears. He picks her up, body across both his arms as her own circle around his neck.

He carries her to her bedchambers, a place he is just entering now for the first time, and sits her down on the bed next to him. He knows the letter was special but he also knows it is much more than what it appears. Having Roland around is sure to make the Queen a bit happier, but it also brings around the memory of a son she has lost. He can't even bare to imagine how he would feel if he were in her shoes.

Robin repeats, "I'm here for you. I'm here for you, Regina" over and over again until she calms down. She takes her head off his shoulder, where it had been leaning, and grabs onto his hands. Just as they did in the middle of the apple orchard, they hold hands for what feels like centuries. And he would love nothing better than to do this for a million more. Her deep, vast eyes suck him in and he is gone.

Finally she rasps, "I loved Roland's card."

Robin smiles, "He shouldn't take all the credit – I did write all the words."

Regina throws Robin a glare that breaks into a grin.

"Oh," Robin exclaims, breaking his hand from Regina. He just remembered the gift in his coat pocket. He reaches in and pulls out an apple – the same one she had been tossing around before. Except now the apple has an arrow shot right through it, the end torn off so both items are in proportion. "It's not a love letter, but this is my gift to you. Happy Valentine's Day."

He gently passes the apple to her and she takes it in both hands, surprisingly dumbstruck. "Idiotic, right?" Robin asks.

All Regina can do is shake her head. "Thank you so much." She grabs onto his hands once more, but this time leans in a bit further, kissing him on the lips.

He is in shock at first, but then seeing the look of fear and wonder on Regina's face, he leans back in without a moment to lose. Her lips are soft just as he'd always imagined. Minutes go by and Regina is now lying face up on the bed, Robin over her, shirt untucked. This is everything he had imagined and more. Despite trying, in the past, to toss his thoughts to the side, he knows this is what he's wanted all along.

He's wanted her and she's wanted him. He knows it's something more than just lust. Above anything he wants Regina to be happy, and he would sacrifice anything to make it so.

Maybe now things will be different between the two of them. Maybe things will start looking up for each one of them. All he knows right now is that this is the best Valentine's Day he's ever had.


End file.
